We experienced a very sad happening last week and I debated about writing about it here, but decided that although it was a hard time, we would want to remember.
For those of you that don't know, Lila has been in a very special pre-school class since she began her time at the Early Childhood Center in 2014. She is in an integrated class with kids that are have some type of special need. When she was initially placed in this class, I sadly admit that we were a little skeptical.
But now that we're on the other side, we would not have wanted it any other way. It has been an amazing experience for all of us, especially her. She has emerged as a compassionate, understanding leader and we're hopeful the strength and tolerance she has shown in this small setting will be with her always.
In her first year of pre-school, she had 2 main teachers, Mrs. Stacey and Ms. Mamie, and she loved both of them immediately. We all could not have been happier with the direction of the classroom and because Stacey was from our district and Mamie was from the special school district, all the needs of the students were covered. Lila adores her teachers and they are really the reason she goes to school every day.
This school year, we expected the teachers to remain the same but when we went to the back to school playdate, we found out that Ms. Mamie would be taking over a self-contained special school district classroom at the school. It was kind of sudden and Lila was sad because she and Mamie had developed such a special bond. Mamie assured her that she would still see her and even mentioned Lila coming to be her "helper" in her new classroom. Lila was ecstatic!
The first week of school, Lila told her teachers that she didn't take a nap anymore so she would need to go somewhere in the afternoons when the rest of her class napped. I was a little worried about her not napping but I decided to go with it after they told us that she would be going to Ms. Mamie's classroom to "help" in the afternoons.
Well, if I thought if she just went to school last year for the teachers, it has been magnified this year. Stacey and Mamie are who she talks about on Sunday night when thinking about going back to school. Mamie doesn't teach on Fridays so we've had problems with Lila wanting to go on Fridays. Some weeks it's just struggle. But we just look forward to the next Ms. Mamie day.
I saw Mamie in the hallway a few weeks ago and I thanked her for allowing Lila to come to her class in the afternoons. I told her it was probably her favorite time of the week and that we really appreciated her having her. How she responded brought tears to my eyes. She said that Lila was the best helper and leader and that some of the kids in her class really needed her. She said it was her pleasure and that Lila is so useful to the kids - she is always there to draw them out and make them a part of the group. My heart swelled with pride. And thankfulness that she had such an amazing role model to teach her about being helpful to those in need.
Lila's beloved Ms. Mamie unexpectedly passed away on December 30th at the very young age of 46.
Telling Lila was probably our toughest parenting moment to date. Delivering news that is going to break your child's heart is just plain awful. She was very very sad, but in true Lila fashion, she is handling it in a very matter of fact manner. She went back to school the next day and although she was sad, she wanted to go see Ms. Mamie's classroom to "see what it would be like without her." They took her and I've never been more thankful for Stacey and her kind and honest approach to handling this sad time.
Thinking back, I could have been my control freak self and made her take a nap at school the first part of this year. She truly still needs it. But something told me to go with it, and that extra time she got with Mamie will be treasured always. Lila is doing well, she's still sad sometimes, but happy to talk about Ms. Mamie and laugh at other times. She told us Mamie played the guitar for them, which we had surprisingly not heard before. She was comforted by the fact that the school is going to return the guitar to her family. She said there is one more star shining bright in the sky tonight. She is strong and wise beyond her years.
If I had the opportunity, this is what I would tell Mamie today (in short):
Dear Mamie,
We could never adequately express our tremendous appreciation for your bond with our sweet Lila. Thank you for sharing your gift with our child and so many other children We are so thankful she got to see true service to others in action and pray having you as a role model leads her to develop this talent in the future.
We will miss you more than words can express and we are simply thankful we got to be a part of your precious life. XOXO